'' Pejaaaaa! bila awak fly ? ''
On the verge of leaving for the UK, I feel underachieved. There's a lot of things that I wish I had more time to do. I havent started packing yet, I havent even decided what to and not to bring. And whenever someone asks me why, I tell them my visa isnt done yet, so I cant go anytime soon. But now that my visa application is finally being processed, I dunno what excuse to throw at ppl anymore.
I guess, packing just makes it real. And as much as I want it to be real, I also dont. It hit me that I'm going to be missing a lot of things here, at home. Like last night, we had buka at Maklong's house, (maklong makes awesome lemak cili api), and as I was overindulging myself to all the delicacies, everyone kept saying ''enjoy it while it lasts, you wont get this over there in the UK!". The daunting fact that it would be my first raya away from family also being a factor of the concerned frown lines I've been developing over the past fortnight or so. And a few days ago, I was going through old pictures, selecting a few to be developed, and I wasnt sure whether it was the hormones, since its 'that time of the month', or whether I was just so overwhelmed with emotion but, I actually started weeping over them.
Atuk hasnt been in the best of health either. The last time I saw her, when I went back to kampung a few weeks ago, she was complaining of joint pains, common for old timers like her. And apparently, after a check up at hospital, turns out there was something more serious. Now shes here in KL, getting a consult from the neurologist at HKL.
And to add to the woes, over in Manchester, I've got to start all over again! The 'hey I'm peja, where are you from?'. Aaahhh. Thats gonna be awkward aint it? But on the bright side, I do get a fresh start right? The opportunity to change for a better? and the chance to be somebody totally different? I'm not being whiny, I'm just... scared, I guess :(
Tentatively, I'm scheduled to leave on the 17th of September, but nothing's confirmed yet. Lets start a countdown shall we?
7 comments:
6 days to go... :(
Hey peja, yeanhui here~ I'm having just the same mixed feeling as you do.. I guess there's human nature? We're kinda reluctant to leave our comfort zone and start everything all over again... But it's a new chapter of our life.. think good about it and you'll get through you without you knowing.. goodluck and all the best! =)
17th?
oh great :(
its normal to be feeling the things ure feeling i guess.
xpe skrg zaman dah modern, got skype n all to keep in touch =)
but pasal food tu, muahahah cant help that :P tp u leh masak kan XD
gluck peja!!!!!!!!!=D
this is my first comment to any blog i hv read...
just wanna wish u all the best n stop thinking abt the things that u r going to face...everythng gonna be fine...insyaALLAH...
u r smarter thn i thought...hehe...only u know what is the best for u...
seriously i feel very happy rite after read this column...its such a disaster if u feel un-happy now... just because of few problems...
sound very emotional when it comes to 'The daunting fact that it would be my first raya away from family also being a factor of the concerned frown lines I've been developing over the past fortnight or so'...
even thought i had never gt a chance to get into u...
i do remmeber u till now...
BEST OF LUCK!!!!!!!!!in manchaster
in study...in future life...
BE stronger than ever...
hope u will be prepared...
SELAMAT HARI RAYA wish to u PeJa....
heyyy thanks for all the strong words of encouragement everyone! :)
and btw, usedtoknowu, may i know who you are? are you an old friend? :)
hey keep on updating ur blog once u sampai man ye...
gud luck peja!!!
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