Embracing this.

"Run a bath, light some candles and just be with your thoughts. Find yourself again." - Best advice, ever.

Okay, so I hardly ever take baths. The last time I took one was probably when I was 10 and that was only because I was down with such a high fever, and the doctor recommended that I be doused in icy cold water just to take my temperature down.

I never understood baths. Besides being a student where cost and time-wise, you would choose showers over baths, I always thought it was extremely disturbing that one would choose to lay there, soaking in your own filth until you withered like prune. And if one describes it to being like a really small personal swimming pool, I would beg to differ. At least in swimming pools, you have hunky ass lifeguards with washboard abs to save you, should you pretend to drown in the shallow end.

So on Friday night when I opted for my normal evening shower and the electric heater just decided to break on me, as well as the bathroom lightbulb blowing a fuse... I was left with the option of: A) smell like underarm odor, all sticky and greasy for the rest of the evening, or B) light some scented candles & run myself a warm, soapy bath and smell of flowers.

Obvious choice?

And my oh my, it was probably the best choice I've made in quite a while now. Being fully immersed in the foamy bubbles relaxed every tense muscle. The aroma from the candles seemed to ease the mind effortlessly and lets not forget the perfect playlist to top off the soulful moment. Definitely something I needed after a week of hard work.

For an hour or so, I just escaped in my own little world, drowned in my thoughts as company. I was actually quite surprised at how at peace I felt with the silence in my head. It made me realise how long I've abandoned my inner self for the craving of company of others. MasyaAllah, it actually felt liberating. I think, society has made it seem like all that matters is your social life but not your individual selves. After last night, I'd say one of the best things to do is to start having a healthy relationship with yourself first. The only way to do it is to start being comfortable with being alone, with the crazy voices inside your head and also sometimes, just the silence. 

It's not going to be easy. It'll take time. It'll take constant practice. It'll be uncomfortable at first. 

But insyaAllah, it'll all be worth it. 

I might have just taken my first step but I give my word, I will keep at it. That beautiful sense of clarity and liberation I had earlier is clearly going to be my drive. Through the good days, and especially the bad ones.

I have decided, my bathroom in my own house will now have a sunken bathtub. Yes please. 

Peja xx