There's this thing you know, about seeing the Kaabah up close and in real time. I mean we see a lot of pictures of it and such but just being in the presence and within touching distance... I just cant quite explain it. Everyone who sets foot in Masjidil Haram for the first time has their own little experience and for myself, it was an overwhelming rush of emotions and thoughts. I remember being very nervous upon stepping foot into the Grand Mosque and our mutawwif (the religious guide) telling us to recite some prayers upon seeing the Kaabah. I remember walking down the rows of saf (prayer lines) just anticipating the moment I would catch a glimpse of the Kaabah and however much I prepared myself for it, I could never have anticipated such a reaction.
I had an epiphany. "MasyaAllah, I cant believe this is it. I cant believe I'm here. With the permission of The Almighty, I am here."
After reciting some prayers and saying my syukur (thanks) I proceeded to walk towards the Kaabah for my tawaf. Then I thought, "Its so big! Its so bold and so glorious, subhanAllah!". I had my head docked up towards the sky just to take it all in. And eventhough there were loads of people around me, for a moment, as I was admiring the situation, just for a moment, there was this silent standstill in time.
While doing the tawaf, there were certain prayers that our mutawwif told us to recite from a little book we had with us. He also told us not to concentrate too much on trying to recite them but what was important was to muhasabah (reflect) and just submit. I dont know when it started but all I know that at one point I realized that I lost it. Tears were streaming down my face and I couldnt stop. It was such a joy but at the same time I felt so humbled it hurt, to the point of tears. Like I said, the feeling was unexplainable.
Now, whenever I pray and I struggle to find khusyuk in my solat, I'll close my eyes and imagine the Kaabah and it gets easier. I pray all of you get to experience this at least once in your lifetime, insyaAllah.
P xx
I had an epiphany. "MasyaAllah, I cant believe this is it. I cant believe I'm here. With the permission of The Almighty, I am here."
After reciting some prayers and saying my syukur (thanks) I proceeded to walk towards the Kaabah for my tawaf. Then I thought, "Its so big! Its so bold and so glorious, subhanAllah!". I had my head docked up towards the sky just to take it all in. And eventhough there were loads of people around me, for a moment, as I was admiring the situation, just for a moment, there was this silent standstill in time.
While doing the tawaf, there were certain prayers that our mutawwif told us to recite from a little book we had with us. He also told us not to concentrate too much on trying to recite them but what was important was to muhasabah (reflect) and just submit. I dont know when it started but all I know that at one point I realized that I lost it. Tears were streaming down my face and I couldnt stop. It was such a joy but at the same time I felt so humbled it hurt, to the point of tears. Like I said, the feeling was unexplainable.
Now, whenever I pray and I struggle to find khusyuk in my solat, I'll close my eyes and imagine the Kaabah and it gets easier. I pray all of you get to experience this at least once in your lifetime, insyaAllah.
P xx
2 comments:
MasyaAllah sister! I teared up a bit as well after reading this. I havent had the privilege of being invited yet but i hope i get it soon. Thank you for sharing, Salam.
MasyaAllah sister! I teared up a bit as well after reading this. I havent had the privilege of being invited yet but i hope i get it soon. Thank you for sharing, Salam.
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